Empowering women to conquer hidden pain

I work with women who struggle with blended high/low self esteem. To the outside world, we are successful and have our shit together. Except we are masters at hiding pain. Inside, we have a black hole filled with guilt, shame, and feeling unworthy. We feel stress managing family, life, career, relationships, and don't feel good enough. We carry trauma in our bodies and it shows up in our daily life. From a young age, we learned self betrayal was pivotal to be worthy of love and to feel good enough. We didn't have a voice.

Before we could even speak, we developed negative beliefs.

I’m unloveable” ~“I’m broken”~“I’m unworthy” ~“I don’t matter” ~I should have known better”~ “I don’t trust myself”~ “I’m not fixable” ~“I’m responsible for everything”~

I’m unloveable” ~“I’m broken”~“I’m unworthy” ~“I don’t matter” ~I should have known better”~ “I don’t trust myself”~ “I’m not fixable” ~“I’m responsible for everything”~

Self-abandonment became the mask to hide the parts of us that weren’t accepted by others. We willingly discarded and buried them to the graveyard of exiles deep within us. The parts that were called “too sensitive, too emotional, too much, too dramatic, too _____.” Those are the parts of us frozen in shame, guilt, rejection and abandonment. How we show up and interact in our current life, all are ways to avoid experiencing those things. Self-abandonment is a protective part that allowed us to show up in whatever way we needed to for others, even if our outside mask didn’t match our insides. It’s an exhausting life to show the world one thing, while feeling different and deeply on the inside. It’s a heaviness that seeps into our bones, leaving us wondering if it can ever be changed.

We rejected our true self and instead became hyperaware of our surroundings to maintain a sense of safety. This required us to suppress our most authentic parts, disregard our boundaries, and prioritize others at the expense of our own well-being in the pursuit of love and acceptance. Our focus shifted towards pleasing our parents or caregivers to maintain their happiness, disregarding our own needs and comfort in the process. This pattern is driven by a deep-seated fear of losing love and connection. Self-abandonment masquerades in many ways until we are brave enough to say, “no more.”

It might look like but not limited to:

  • wanting to be fully seen and feeling invisible because it’s safer

  • experiencing Imposter Syndrome despite our success

  • controlling the uncontrollable

  • needing to be liked at all costs

  • feeling obligated to say YES when we want to say NO

  • saying “I’m fine,” even when we aren’t and dismiss our own feelings and needs, so others don’t feel inconvenienced

  • the “I-got-this-even-when -I -really -don’t -got -this -because- I -can’t- ask- for -help” mentality

  • Pushing someone away to avoid rejection

  • constantly feeling overwhelmed and exhausted

  • trying to outsmart our emotions so we don’t have to feel; (Hello, intellectualizing superstar. I see you.)

  • finding ourselves in unhealthy relationships that repeat past patterns

  • battling depression, anxiety and feeling scattered while looking successful

  • feeling stuck despite looking like we have our shit together

  • discounting our achievements so others around us don’t feel bad

  • saying “I got lucky” instead of acknowledging the hard work we’ve done to get to where we are

  • feeling numb

  • coping with alcohol to dull the sharp edges of life

  • disordered eating patterns that stem from childhood

  • Feeling alone and hiding the loneliness through isolation

  • believing no one else feels this way and scared to open up for fear of judgement (yet we are the harshest critics of ourselves; no one can even top our vicious internal dialogue )

My focus is repairing the damage due to past experiences and how it’s created a critical view to our own self. We learn to feel our emotions and process the accumulation of unresolved traumas stemming from a lifetime of what we were willing to accept. We  explore past hurts, reshaping the self-critical tendencies, the ever-present need to self-abandon to hide out true self and instead fostering a greater sense of self-compassion. We dig deep to disrupt the ingrained patterns for healthier ones. We keep what works and let go of what no longer serves us.

I’m here to help you step into your true self. Imagine being able to fully embrace and believe, “I can trust myself to figure it out.” It’s a belief and skillset that makes us unstoppable, fierce and empowered. It’s the belief that lets us trust ourselves even when we don’t know our next step. We can trust we will figure it out, no matter how long it takes or how messy it feels.

There isn’t a price tag anyone can put on that.

It’s priceless.

Empowering
women to heal